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I am of a holy confidence that if you will work on what is completely within your control, you will transcend all that has come before in your life, regardless of whose fault it was. Grab the steering wheel, fire up the engine, and take a lap around the block. It can be the first step towards your return to wholeness. We all have our cross to bear but Jesus didn’t ever say we had to lay down under it and stay there. We need to get back up, dust ourselves off, and carry it onwards and upwards. For those of you who tried before and it didn’t work out, who have a tape playing constantly in your head about the details of the previous failure and the danger of believing and hope one more time, I understand. Let it go and begin again anyway!

We all have free will to live out our life – however we choose. I applaud you for making a wise investment in your future, your family, and the larger community by choosing to make your destiny your reality. There is no better partner than God, the ultimate co-collaborator, the supernatural provider of our needs, the only One capable of moving heaven and earth to launch us further and faster than we’d ever be able to accomplish on our own. Chances are that once you get started, or begin again, you’ll enjoy life more than ever before. New vistas and dimensions of experience will open to you, and you’ll see more beauty than pain. You’ll cultivate a reverence for the Divine everywhere around you, and you’ll feel a sense of awe that you’re playing your part in creating a better world for all of us. At that point in time, the weight of responsibility shifts from a burdensome heaviness, to one of lightness and joy.

Keep in mind too that our destiny is likely to be multi-faceted with vital purposes that are integrated, not mutually exclusive. If you’re afraid that pursuing greater things means you’ll automatically lose your family, or your stability, or anything else, don’t fret. Your destiny – and the God that is calling you to it – is big enough to hold the totality of your life and weave all of it into the tapestry until a beautiful new picture emerges. You’ll find yourself with a bigger framework, able to hold more of all you treasure, in abundance.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to exercise your free will to become more than you ever dreamed possible.

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The third lethal obstacle is damage from the past. This one usually lurks in the area of our self-esteem and self-confidence, and can strip us of our ability to deal with daily life, let alone believe in something greater. If this is you, my heart is filled with compassion for you. Life knocks the wind out of all of us at some point. When that day comes, we find ourselves at a crossroads. Will we toss up our hands in defeat and spend the rest of our lives broken, or will we get right back on the horse and ride again? The decision we make after life has been too hard for too long bears an eternal impact on our destiny. People can fall into different mindsets without even meaning to. Some are able to take stock, reassess, and move on. Others stay stuck, frozen in time. And a few use the time as a springboard to go on and make an impact on the world they never would have been able to achieve if life had always been easy for them. The way out of negative mindsets begins with taking time to be with God, to get our bearings and our perspective back, to lay our burdens at Great Spirit’s feet, and rather than asking “why?” decide to live into “why not?!”

Why not, regardless of whatever we have gone through before, try again? Why not, love again? Why not, dream again, hope again, believe again, contribute again? Why not strive to create an abundantly blessed life? Why not, indeed! It is my fervent hope for you that you will take this opportunity to regain your own center and formulate a plan for the next phase of your life. Growth is never easy, and overcoming tragedy can be excruciating. But remember that you’re still standing after everything that led you to this blog series, so there is still plenty of hope you can turn your situation around.

The fourth hazard is the tyranny of “but I already tried this and it failed last time.” You took a road trip and ended up at a dead end. You drove back home, hanging your head in embarrassment or shaking it in frustration. The good news is that you already know how to get started. Perhaps the last time your road map wasn’t very clear, support was lacking, or too much got in the way, and the delay looked permanent. Perhaps you’re still facing struggles from the past, that only let you drive the car so far or so fast. It could be that last time the idea was right, but the timing was wrong. That’s ok. Analyze what went wrong, chart a new course, and get moving again. You need less convincing than anyone else of the wisdom of the trip.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to let the past go and commit to creating the beauty of your own future. You got this!

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The first lethal obstacle to creating your destiny is being comfortable with the life we’re living, which can leave us loathe to take a risk. If we’ve already achieved success, it no doubt took years of hard work and sacrifice. We’re not particularly in the mood to sign up for more of that when really, we just want to put up our feet and sun ourselves. Life is good enough, we think, and then we stop thinking about the bigger picture altogether. Yet somehow that nagging feeling way down deep in our hearts that we’re capable of more, that we’re made for more, rises to the surface again. We realize that God is calling us to greater things. Not wanting to pursue our destiny would be like deciding our daily commute is all there is to see in the world, when God is calling us to the scenic route, beyond the range of our ordinary life.

If you can relate to the first hazard, and can’t stand the thought of going through another period of focused achievement, you can relax. I’m not going to recommend you sell all your possessions, move your family to a far flung island and sell coconuts for Jesus. I am going to recommend that you pray, talk with your family, seek out wise counsel, and try to find a way to get started that is in balance with what you’re already doing. As we’ll cover later in this series, what you want to create is a sustainable pace. One that incorporates your life as it is now, while finding a way to carve out time and resources to make your destiny your reality. It’s about taking a calculated risk, and experiencing even greater rewards than you achieved before.

The second hazard is the cares of daily life that can weigh us down to a breaking point. Any overstressed, sleep deprived, frazzled adult can testify to that. It may be that you’re all in with the idea of pursuing your destiny. You’re committed, prepared, and turbo charge excited. But then one thing after another…after another…after another gets in the way, and then one more thing after that goes wrong. It can cause you to toss up your hands in utter frustration and focus on just getting through the day, week, month, or year. You head off on your destiny trip expecting clear sunny skies, and the next thing you know it’s raining so hard you can barely see the road. Keep going anyway. You’ll eventually drive out of the storm.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to find inspiration to set your sights on that next mountain to climb, and power through the cares of life enough to get moving.

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Once you realize that you have a unique destiny, the hardest part is getting started. No matter what comes after, once you take that first step you’ll build momentum, gain support from unexpected places, and encounter divine assistance. If you want to drive across the country but you never pull out of the driveway, your dream is no more than a fantasy. In life, God can handle the wrong turns that you make, and u-turns are even allowed. Once you’re on your way, total strangers may assist you. The trip may not cost as much as you thought it would, or it may go faster than the GPS device said it would. The point is, once you take a leap of faith and start moving, you set divine power in motion. God thinks “Finally! They’re on the road!” At that point, blessings you never could have anticipated start coming your way and your dreams take on a life of their own.

Yet hazards lurk in the background before we ever get in the car. There are three lethal obstacles to getting started: 1) comfort with our current life, 2) the cares of daily life, and 3) damage from the past. Any one of those things can prevent us from daring to hope we might even have a destiny, or believing enough to take that first step. Next time we’ll begin examining each “destiny killer” in turn.

Until then, I’ll be praying for you to envision yourself making a fresh start and getting yourself out on the road.

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The question “why are we here?” is as old as humankind. In ancient times we tried to decipher the natural world. Life revolved around nomadic migrations of the entire community. In modern times we’re often frantically trying to keep pace with technological advancements and their implications for our lives. Our connections increasingly take place in a virtual world, and our sense of separation from our communities has never been greater. From the first day, we’ve been trying to figure out what it all means, and what our place in the universe is. That’s some pretty big thinking, and it’s important to ponder.

Yet it’s equally important to synthesize the answers into something practical for our daily lives. We each hold a particular place in the cosmos, with a tailor made assignment that suits our personalities and interests perfectly. The foundation upon which this series is built is this: God put each of us here with an individually designed destiny that catapults our life to the highest, most abundant level. By extension, the lives of every community we’re a part of are raised to a higher level as well. Our purpose in being here is to fulfill that destiny!

There are a lot of other philosophies out there, movements that espouse radically different ways to live, from it’s-all-about-me, to martyrdom, and everything in between. Yet I just don’t believe that life is about the relentless pursuit of pleasure even if it bears a negative cost for others. I also don’t believe that life is about endless suffering for any of us, or chronic self-sacrifice to an extreme degree. I don’t believe it’s about slogging through day after day, feeling bad, hating our life, and eventually going to glory. We’re here to fulfill our purpose, enjoy life, live well in community, leave things better than we found them, and raise the energy of our world in a positive, uplifting way. That philosophy creates a win-win balance that makes life better for everyone involved.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to comprehend the vastness of your own value to our world. We need you, and the destiny you are meant to fulfill.

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The news also tells us there are a lot of people hurting in the world today. Some folks are in a pit so deep they’ve given up hope. A few have been so victimized by others they believe they are broken beyond repair. Others are caught in circumstances of their own making and believe they don’t deserve freedom from the bondage they are in. Friends, let me encourage you to start right where you are. For all of us, fulfilling our destiny begins with taking just one step forward. Just. One. Nobody gets to judge the size of the step. It may be that the first step is tiny, awkward, and feeble. Yet it can be the most powerful step we ever take.

Start where you are. If you’re in a hole, look up and search for a way out. If you’re broken, tend to the wound. If you’re still doing what you know you shouldn’t, stop. That one step can totally shift the direction of your life and set your feet solidly on the road to your destiny. Don’t look around and compare yourself to your neighbor – he or she is busy with their own destiny. You don’t know what they’ve gone through, or what private demons they may be facing. Don’t listen to a world that tells you that you can’t, listen to God who tells you that you can! Maybe you’re having trouble believing that, but what have you got to lose by at least making an attempt? The alternative is to give up, stay stuck in pain, and just sit around waiting for your life to end at some future point in time. If you woke up today, if you’re capable of understanding this message, you’ve got enough left in you to take advantage of the choices and opportunities this day will hold. No matter who you are, it is possible to reclaim your destiny after life’s hardships and mistakes. No matter what has come before, it is possible for you to build a life of victory and joy.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to consider the possibility that no matter how broken you may feel, you’ll start believing that healing and moving forward is possible.

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Bullies usually consider themselves pretty clever, preying on whom they see as weaker in some way. What they fail to realize is that the majority of people view them quite differently than they view themselves, and the truth of their actions is usually transparent for all to see. Bullies also tend to band together in small groups, congratulating each other for being king of the hill. What bullies fail to realize is that the hill they occupy is a volcano, and the rest of us are wise enough to stay off of it because we know it will eventually erupt. We understand that it’s not smart to even be on that hill, let alone fight over it.

Bullies also don’t recognize that they pay a price every single day for the choices they have made. Aside from their inner turmoil, their loud and obnoxious behavior costs them support and opportunities because it broadcasts their flaws and makes good people want to stay away. People who try to disrupt, demean, and discourage others are advertising that they have inner demons they haven’t dealt with yet. Understanding that you’re not going to build your destiny without encountering some resistance is about 80% of the battle towards successfully withstanding it when it happens. The rest is skill and stamina.

Remember that God sees and hears everything that is being said about you and done to you. When you do what’s right, you put yourself in a position to be even more blessed than before. But for those who are doing what’s wrong, they put themselves in a compromised position that creates bad outcomes. All we have to do to confirm there is evil in the world is turn on the news. Sometimes evil seems to win, at least temporarily. I can’t explain it, but what I can do is share my belief that God can bring some measure of good from the bad things that do happen. It doesn’t change the event, it doesn’t fix the wrong, but salvaging whatever we have left is sometimes all we’ve got. If this is your situation, take heart. Maybe, just maybe, it’s possible for you to rise above the trauma and get your life back. God can turn tragedy into triumph, if we let Him. No it isn’t easy, and no it isn’t fair, but it is possible.

Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to contemplate in advance the resistance you might encounter, and craft a strategy for dealing with it in a healthy, effective way.

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Every time a destiny is fulfilled, the world advances. Your destiny is a vital part of God’s plan for our larger community. It is a sacred honor to pursue it. It’s also the greatest thrill of a lifetime to engage in a task so big it’s spooky and so meaningful it not only changes what you do, but who you are. Somehow no matter the difficulty of the journey, I ultimately arrived at a much better place than the one I left. To me that’s the good stuff in life, and I hope it will be for you as well.

When we rise up to claim our destiny, it lifts us high enough to become visible. This attracts the attention of others, and I have yet to talk to a successful person who didn’t encounter opposition or adversity, especially at the beginning of their journey. When you begin to change how you approach life, it will by definition change your relationships with everyone around you. Handled skillfully, most of your connections can weather the adjustment period and emerge even stronger. Unfortunately however, some problems really are intractable. Some folks will try to overtly or covertly throw you off course. We all know people who struggle with jealousy, insecurity, immaturity issues, or who simply find your happy journey an affront to their own misery. They are the types of folks who make a point of interfering with other people’s progress in life, and their behavior can quickly escalate into bullying. We’ll cover that more in-depth next time.

Until then, I’ll be praying for you to claim your destiny, come what may. It really is that important!

Hello friends,

Ever wondered how to make your destiny your reality? Here’s what I’ve learned, and what’s worked for me. Today I live a life I scarcely could have imagined. More dreams and bucket list items fulfilled than I ever thought possible. What’s really crazy is that I’ve actually become so so so grateful for the painful experiences in my life, and the few key jackasses along the way who tried to hold me back, because as I fought my way through their Narcissistic Nuttiness, I emerged into the person I had always longed to be. I am intimately acquainted with what it means to deal with the hardships, mistakes, traumas, and toxicity that most of us face in this lifetime. I love where I’m at and where I’m headed. When I wrote “Make Your Destiny Your Reality” five years ago, I never envisioned the doors it would open (and close!) and the amazing people I would come to know, love, and partner with, in business and in life. It’s been an incredible ride, and my greatest wish for you is that what I’ll be sharing in the destiny series on my blog will help you powerfully bust through those maddening issues that have been holding you back, encourage you to NEVER give up, and provide you with some tools to strategically navigate you way to a better today!!  Thanks for joining me on the journey. Welcome to my world. 🙂

Here’s how to get there from here:

Claim your destiny. It’s a vital part of God’s plan for our larger community. Every time a destiny is fulfilled, the world advances.

Begin or begin again. No matter what comes after, once you take that first step – or dare to try again – you’ll build momentum, gain support from unexpected places, and encounter divine assistance.

Create defensible space. Not everyone will be in favor of your new life. You can’t leave your destiny exposed and at risk. You need a safety zone around it so that any fires that come will sweep around rather than tear through.

Claim your resurrection power. The resurrection wasn’t a one-time deal and there’s no earthly problem you could possibly have that He can’t overcome. I know too many stories of miracles to believe otherwise.

Find healthy support. Everyone needs the benefit of wise counsel and encouragement from people they can trust. One positive voice can be enough to power you through any turbulence you might encounter and see you safely through to the other side.

Unshackle yourself from the past. Every day you wake up you’re given a chance to create yourself anew. You won’t be able to make progress if the weight of the past has you stuck in place. Things you went through  or mistakes that you made may have permanent consequences, but they do not define who you are permanently.

Discern the vision for the future. Your dreams come from God and are how He directs you towards what you’re meant to do. It’s easy for those dreams to get buried under burdens or obligations. But if you get still and quiet, you’ll hear your dreams whisper that they have been waiting for you all along.

Chart your course. Planning your destiny requires knowledge of the terrain, an understanding of current environmental conditions, and a map that will get you where you want to go.

Set a sustainable pace. Create a mindful, strategic plan for minimizing any potential negative impact, by setting a pace that you realistically sustain over time. Building your destiny at the expense of your health or your family defeats the purpose.

Show up and work your plan. This is the step when your destiny finds life or is relegated to the scrap heap of what could have been. All that’s left to do is show up and carry out the plan.

Overcome challenges. Sometimes the greatest resistance you’ll encounter happens right before a major breakthrough. When you are birthing something new for God the dark forces don’t want you to succeed. Problems are not necessarily a sign of doing something wrong, they can be a sign of doing something very right.

Finish the race. After everything it’s taken to reach this point, the only way to fail is to quit. You’re right on the verge of enjoying the fruits of your labor. You’ve faithfully sowed the seeds of your destiny and it is time for your bountiful harvest.

Until next time, I’ll be praying that you dust off your destiny and get back in the game!!

Hello friends!

It is my absolute privilege and honor to introduce you to Melissa Holmes. She is one of the most resilient, amazing people that I have ever had the opportunity to know. She has so much wisdom to share, and you’ll be hearing a lot more from her in the near future. What she has to say can change your life. Enjoy!

Whether it is in the workplace or your personal life it is critical to protect yourself from toxic people and situations. Friends that may overwhelm you with their life problems, a manager that implies you need to work overtime even though your family needs you home. These are only a couple of the many toxic situations that can influence your emotional health and thus affect your physical health.  Sometimes we don’t even realize the parts of your life that are toxic challenges until they become overwhelming,  or on occasion incapacitating.  It is important to identify these and take charge of them, before they take charge of you.