Uncategorized

Leaders my Leaders, welcome back!

Here is this week’s set of traits for you to ponder. Remember, no one is perfect. Progress is the goal.

Until next time my beloved leaders, stay on the grow!

Leaders my Leaders, welcome back!

So how do we recognize immaturity? What does maturity look like for that matter? How do we know that we’re on a path that leads to wisdom and inner peace? For the next three weeks we are going to answer those questions. There are common traits that immature people share. Their emotional growth is stunted, and their behavior is stuck at an earlier developmental level. I refer to this as the arm-fart stage of development. Junior high cafeteria level. Funny perhaps, when you’re 12. Sad and pathetic when you’re 42. Mature people have traits in common that set them apart in a powerfully positive way. If you want to increase the power of your leadership, then developing as many traits on the list as possible, is the most effective way to accomplish that goal. Keep in mind that no one is perfect. We are all a work in progress. None of us will have all of the traits we’ll cover in the next 3 weeks. None of us will perfectly utilize the traits we do have in every single circumstance every single time. The key is to consciously choose to do as well as we can as often as we possibly can, and be intentional about having a positive impact on ourselves, our team, our organization, our families, and our communities. Yep, it’s a huge job. But it is an amazing and incredibly rewarding experience to develop these traits and see the sometimes life-transforming benefits they create in our lives and the lives of those around us. Here’s part one of the list:

Until next time, beloved leaders, take good care of yourself and your team!

Leaders my Leaders, welcome back!

Integrity is not the most important trait for a leader to have, maturity is. Mature people have hallmark traits that can be relied upon. Mature people get the best possible results from themselves and others. They have evolved to their highest level of functioning, living, and loving. Then they seek to learn and grow even more. These folks are in balance, have a great perspective, and an excellent attitude. They are fully accountable, and make mindful, intentional choices. They have a profoundly positive ripple impact on the world.

Immature leaders cause a lot of destruction. They may not have any of the major dysfunctions we’ll discuss later on, but they also haven’t grown up enough to meet their current responsibilities well. Some of them are immature because they lack an example that showed them what maturity looks like in daily life. Others are proudly immature because they have no interest in self-development, and they benefit too much from their bad behavior. Eventually however, their choices will catch up with them, when something happens that they aren’t able to escape or laugh off. Then they end up regretting not having chosen to develop maturity when they still had control over the process.

The bottom line is that life will grow you up. The same is true of leadership. The path of self-discipline is rougher at the start, but allows you the time and space to grow at your own pace and in your own way. It becomes a comfort and one of your greatest allies throughout the course of the rest of your life. Those who don’t choose self-discipline however, have a more carefree start but a much tougher landing later on. Usually by then, someone or something has intervened. At that point, the path to maturity is prescribed and must be accomplished in a compressed timeframe. Someone else is setting the goals, making the decisions, and then you are stuck carrying out their plan regardless of what you think or feel about it.

Next week we’ll begin discussing traits of immature versus mature leaders. Until then, lead well and love it!

Leaders my Leaders, welcome back!

The very best leaders I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with, and those I know in a more indirect way, all seem to share one trait in common. They are coming from a spiritual perspective. Notice I didn’t say they all came from the same religion. Or attended any particular church. Or any church at all for that matter. Nor did I say they all read from the same version of scripture. Or worshipped the same ways. But all of them do actively follow a spiritual path. If you want to be counted among the greatest leaders of your generation, then spirituality is your secret key to the kingdom.

If you and God aren’t on speaking terms, you need to work through that. If you are at war with God then it will be impossible for you or your team to have genuine peace. For our purposes in this teaching series, I am not defining peace as the absence of trouble or turmoil. I am defining it as the unshakeable faith in God, yourself, and your team that tells you that no matter what happens, you will be able to figure it out. Together. It all begins with you. God is the only one who can transform you. Any teacher’s role – myself included – is to provide you with new information that makes you think. That leads you to making better choices. God takes care of everything else. You can put on a show for the world, but God still knows what’s inside your heart. When you turn your heart over to God, you will never be the same. Neither will your leadership. You will find yourself not with less struggles, but with a much deeper, richer understanding of those struggles. That perspective will allow you to withstand events that would have crumpled others into oblivion. There is no single decision you can make about your leadership career that is more important than developing a spiritual life that works for you.

God wants you to know that He loves you. He cares for you. More than we can fathom. You haven’t messed up so bad that He can’t save you. His mercy is fresh and new each day. All you have to do is ask for it. I say this with great respect for you: if you exclude God and spirituality from your leadership, then you will be appointed to your position, but you will never know the blessings of being divinely anointed for your position. I’m living proof that mistakes can be remedied, hardships overcome, injustices made right. God called me to do the work I’m doing right now, and it is the sweetest, most exhilarating journey I have ever known. I made the choice, and I’m inviting you to do the same. God’s been waiting a long time for you to Come Home to Him. Today can be that day!

If you’d like to Come Home today, then please join me in this prayer, or any other that you see fitting for the magnitude of this occasion:

Dear God,

I give my heart to you. I know you created me and you love me more than I can possibly understand. I know you are merciful enough to forgive my mistakes, and just enough to make right the harm that has been done to me. I know you allow me to be in a leadership position for a reason. Today I give my leadership career to you. Do with it as you will. Help me grow. Help me do right by myself, my team, and my organization. Help me stay in balance so I do right by my family while building my career. Bless me so that I may pass that blessing on to others, and help them become everything you created them to be. I accept the tremendous responsibility that comes with my position. I ask you to always watch over me, helping me make good choices, and becoming a force for good in our world. 

Amen!

Congratulations my friends, I am very proud of you! Let the new phase of your life and your leadership begin. 🙂

Leaders My Leaders! Welcome back.

Leadership begins with you. If you’re chaotic or dysfunctional, then you’re going to do damage. It really is that simple. You have to lead yourself to make good choices first before you can expect that from your team. Every day you are sowing seeds that you will harvest later. What is your harvest going to be like? Will it be robust, with just a few unavoidable weeds mixed in? Or will it be mostly weeds, with a few inadvertent good things thrown in? The bottom line is, if you are making healthy choices, then you and your team are going to have a bountiful harvest. But if you are making bad choices, then you are eventually going to face those consequences. The longer you delay changing your ways, the more intense and longer lasting your pain will be. That pain will spill over onto your team, robbing them of their well-being and perhaps altering their futures right along with yours. You don’t want to generate that kind of seriously bad karma. When you choose wisely today, you can have confidence in your tomorrow.

Leading yourself first brings you peace, your team hope, and your organization good results. You become an upstanding member of the community. You respect yourself. You honor the gift of leadership you have been granted.  There are three key aspects of self-leadership: maturity, integrated wholeness, and sustainable life practices. All three are essential to building a foundation of bedrock rather than quicksand. Leaders who wisely choose to build on bedrock will stand the test of time and all kinds of weather. Leaders who choose to foolishly build on quicksand will find that eventually the storms sweep away what was never strong to begin with. They will be trapped by their own poor choices, with no way out.

Next week we’ll talk about the one trait the most amazing leaders all seem to share. Until then, take good care of yourself and your team!

Leaders My Leaders! I care deeply about you, your team, and your organization’s work in the world. That’s why I’m challenging you to grow into the best possible version of yourself. Your role is in fact that important. Tremendous influence and power lies in your hands. It is of the utmost important that you wield it wisely.

Let me share with you a few truths about leadership. It’s a tough business. It’s not comfortable. Nor is it supposed to be. It’s not about you. It’s about the team. It’s ALWAYS about the team. If you have to make a choice between one individual and the team, pick the team. Every. Single. Time. You are there as a human shield. You are there to absorb the hits on behalf of the team. You are there to maintain order, to inspire, educate, entertain, counsel, console, comfort, build up, look after, make sacrifices for, love, encourage, care about, and hold accountable your team. All that is on you. It’s a big job. But it’s so worth it! Guiding a group of people who share your values towards accomplishing a mission for the common good, well, that’s that the good stuff in life. For every moment their quirks drive you crazy, they’ll repay you with a thousand moments of pride at watching them grow and accomplish more than they thought possible. Become more than they thought possible. For every time the goofy troubles they get themselves into make you curse under your breath, there will be moments that take your breath away because they pulled off something amazing.

That is what it means to be a leader, to serve alongside a team. You’re there with them, and for them. In every circumstance. You’re the one they are looking to for guidance. You are the one who holds so much of their professional and personal well-being in your hands. If that doesn’t simultaneously terrify, excite, and awe you, then you have some serious work ahead of you to get your mind right. The skills of leadership can be learned. But having a good heart cannot. If your heart isn’t right towards your people and your organization, then you are on a collision course with the consequences of your bad choices. If this is you, then your only hope is to let your heart be transformed. It’s worth the work it’s going to take. We all reap what we sow. Position yourself for a bountiful harvest, not a life of bitter regrets.

Until next time, I’m praying for your strength and wisdom. 🙂

Welcome back Awesome Leaders! Here is a list of what you can look forward to over the coming months. We are going to be covering these topics in detail because they are of vital importance to our collective future. We want thriving organizations, strong marriages, healthy families, and individuals fulfilling their purpose in life. Leadership is how we make that happen.

• Part One: Leadership of the Self
  • Personal Maturity
  • Integrated Wholeness
  • Sustainable Life Practices
• Part Two: Leadership of the Team
  • Interpersonal Excellence
  • Strategically Developing Others
  • The Art of Consequences
• Part Three: Leadership of the Organization
  • Daily Deliverables
  • Mission Evolution
  • Keeper of the Cultural Flame
• Part Four: Leadership of the Community
  • Collaborative Advancement
  • Life Altering Experiences
  • Leaving a Powerful Legacy

See you next week, and until then be strong and know I’m praying for you!

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the leadership series! Whether you are aspiring to your first leadership position, inspired to step up your game to an advanced or elite level, or even if you are a leader who has messed up so bad your career is all but over, this series will have something of value for you. As always, I am not a guru. You are the expert on your own situation, so trust your own gut and do your own best thinking. Take what you like in what I have to say, and jettison the rest. Let’s begin!

Leaders hold an awesome, sacred responsibility to achieve missions, grow teams, and develop individuals. You do not own your people, they are yours only for a time. Too many of our leadership colleagues are treating their organizations and teams as commodities in their quest for personal gain. Too many of them treat their people as discardable. The abuse or neglect of power carries grave consequences. Leaders are spiritually responsible for the impact they have on those under their command. Leaders who focus on anything other than improving themselves, the team, the organization, and ultimately the communities in which they operate will eventually have their choices come back to haunt them. We all reap what we sow, and the clock of accountability is ticking.

Leadership magnifies flaws. Too many of our leadership colleagues are running their teams like their dysfunctional families growing up. If leaders have not yet done the difficult work of intentionally clearing away the impact of whatever dysfunction they may have gone through, and the maladaptive coping skills they learned as a result, then it is likely they will repeat living room drama in the boardroom. It doesn’t have to be that way. Leaders who choose to put themselves through the necessary discomfort of a personal growth plan evolve into leaders who are a powerful, positive force to reckon with. Alternatively, leaders who choose to sacrifice their team on the altar of their own dysfunction will eventually encounter a rebellion that forces them to grow and evolve. If they’re lucky. The news tells us that some leaders don’t get a second chance. Some of them get fired. Some end up on the nightly news. Some end up behind bars. None of them emerge unscathed. Your mission will not succeed beyond the constraints created by the weakest leader on your roster.

Leaders my leaders, it’s time! Time to get real. Time to get serious. Time to protect those who are counting on you. Time to act with boldness and grow to the next level. Arise, and let your light shine!

Next week we’ll introduce the topics we’ll be studying for the next several months. Until then, be wise, be strategic, and stay on the grow. I’m praying for you!

I hope the toxic workplace blog series has provided you with some new tools for dealing with really tough work situations. Don’t ever give up. Keep fighting until you find something effective that helps you get your life back. You can make a difference, if not for your team or your organization, then at least for yourself and your family. Everyone deserves a safe, healthy, productive place to work.

If you’re interested in more information about how to apply the systematic approach to your particular situation, you can find the workbook on my website www.debhollandlcsw.com. It has a few different exercises that illustrate how to assess workplace problems. I also have a webinar on this same topic, where I go into more depth than I had time/space for in the blogs. You can find it here: https://app.webinarjam.net/register/34090/353c522c7a

No matter how bad your situation is right now, one thing is inevitable and that is it will change at some point. When and how lie largely in your hands now that you have the tools to gain the clarity and the power necessary to getting your life back. I admire your bravery in taking on the challenge, and I wish you well as you seek to be a difference maker.

Next up for the blogs: leadership!

Sometimes despite our best efforts to resolve, influence, or cope with toxic workplaces, the dysfunction doesn’t change. The constant negativity can lead to unhealthy amounts of stress. If you don’t deal with this stress, you may develop more serious conditions like high blood pressure. You might choose to deal with stress at the workplace in a number of different ways. A very popular way to deal with it is to use marijuana to calm yourself after a particularly hard day. However, if your workplace is so strict that it requires drug tests then you may want to look for the best flushers for weed so you aren’t put into an even more stressful situation if the test comes back positive. However, sometimes the best solution is to just remove yourself from the situation and find a more healthy working environment.

While most of the time you can suggest to your management that certain changes should be made or you can anonymously show your discontent in a pulse survey (look at the definition of employee pulse survey here if you’re not sure what it is), but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes the problems are too entrenched or widespread for there to be any hope of change in a timeframe that works for you. This strategy is last for a reason. The previous three strategies walk you through a process for discerning what the problems are and what you might be able to do about them. Based on that, you may have a realistic hope of change. But you may also conclude that there is not a realistic hope of change. It is incredibly important at that point to honor the expertise that you have about the situation. You know your workplace better than anyone. You also know yourself better than anyone. If there is no hope of the situation changing, and your best efforts to cope aren’t effective, then leaving is the last option. Leaving is not something to be taken lightly or impulsively. Especially if you have a family, walking off a job unless your safety is at imminent risk is not a wise decision. In today’s economy, you want to make sure that you have a new job before you quit the toxic one. Otherwise, you are just trading work stress for financial stress. If you’re wanting some help with writing a new resume with hopes of getting you out of the toxic job as quick as possible, you may want to try using resume writing advice from the likes of Cultivated Culture’s guide or others. By creating a solid resume, you stand a much better chance of receiving an interview to get the job. Of course, interviews can be equally as difficult as creating an appealing resume. However, with the help of websites like https://www.interviewskillsclinic.co.uk/, you should stand a good chance of impressing the employers in the interview stage, hopefully helping you to get a fresh start.

Once you have a new job, make a graceful exit. Remember that you are getting your life back. When you walk out that door for the last time, you leave the toxicity and dysfunction behind. That’s where you get your best revenge. Especially when aggressors pretend to be victims and have blamed you for the problems. That is a classic ploy of abusive people. Once you’re out that door, you will realize that the problem was never you. The craziness and the chaos stays at the old job site, and your peace and happiness come back. Just as importantly, when you go to work for someone healthy, you will realize the depth of how bad the toxic work environment really was. When you are treated professionally and with respect, you’ll finally have an excellent comparison point of the role work is supposed to play in our lives: getting paid to work together to achieve some kind of common goal, whether it is earning a profit or providing a service (or both). Work was never intended to destroy us. It was intended to lift all of us up into a higher standard of living, both as individuals and in our communities. It’s how we provide for our families. It’s how we make a contribution to the greater good. It’s how we provide each other with the products and services each of us need on a daily basis. It’s a place where all of us deserve to be safe. You can’t save anyone else by sacrificing yourself. Your safety matters. You matter. If you know it’s time to go, then talk with your family and formulate a good exit plan. Deal with any stress you still face by knowing that you are looking for another job or working on whatever your exit plan is. Focus on the fact that someday, when you no longer have to walk into a place that reeks of oppression and wasted potential, you truly will be free.

Next week we will wrap up the toxic workplaces topic and then move on to something new. In the meantime, know that I am rooting for you and praying for you to have wisdom and strength as you make these incredible important decisions about what comes next in your life. Peace!