If you've assessed that a full or partial fix is not a realistic possibility, there are still things you can do to make the situation better for yourself. Rather than attempting to get the problems addressed, you can concentrate instead on finding ways to stop or minimize the impact the situation has on you. The primary way to do this is to detach. Learning how to let go of people and situations who either intend to harm you, or who knowingly and negligently allow you to be harmed, is your number one way to protect yourself. When you stop caring so much, what they try to do to you stops mattering so much. How do you do this? Step completely out of the chaos. If you aren't able to physically leave, then emotionally leave. What you'll quickly realize is that the problem wasn't you. The fighting and the drama continues on while you are now safely on the sidelines. That's because in toxic workplaces, the toxicity is never about anyone except for the toxic individuals and the way they choose to approach life. Typically, their bad behavior went on long before you, will go on long after you, and therefore you are not obligated to allow it to hurt you for even one more moment. Chances are excellent that the toxic people you are dealing with are also having very similar problems elsewhere in their life, because toxic isn't something they do, it's become who they are. These types of folks tend to have the same issues at work/school, home, in their families, and out in the community. Dysfunctional people cause havoc everywhere they go, and you do NOT owe them your well-being.
Other important strategies for weathering the storm and mitigating the damage the situation is having on you are:
- Don't do anything to make the problem worse
- Reengage in activities that mean something to you
- Reconnect with people who mean something to you
- Take excellent care of your physical health
- Find a safe place where you can completely decompress
- Love your family more than you hate your job
- Love your team more than you hate your job
- Find healthy support
- Pray or utilize other spiritual practices
- Prioritize your emotional health
- At the end of the bad days, dump out how you feel in a safe way and move on with the rest of your night
- Think seriously about what you want your future to be like and then take steps in that direction
Changing your own thinking, approach, or response will build an invaluable buffer zone in which you can find refuge. The backlash for this kind of strategy is minimal, because toxic people are rarely astute enough to recognize these kinds of subtle behavioral changes. You will be able to regain a lot of control over your own situation without them even realizing it. For the few that do realize it, their tactics will no longer work on you, and you'll still be much better off.
Next week we'll talk about strategies for what to do when resolving, influencing, or dealing with the problem aren't feasible or aren't effective. Until then, stay safe, stay strong, and know that I'm praying for you. God Bless!