One of the most critical questions you can ask about your workplace gets right to the heart of the matter. Is the problem individual a person of essentially good character who occasionally makes mistakes? Or are they an essentially flawed character who only occasionally manages not to mess things up? The answer to that question dictates your strategy.
If the issues are with someone who is essentially of good character, then there is a lot of hope for a complete resolution. Using your best interpersonal skills will go a long way towards resolving the issues. But if the person is of poor character, especially if they have a malicious intent towards others, you are in a highly concerning situation because the only thing that matters to people like that is advancing their own agenda. They are willing to sacrifice you and everything that matters to you in pursuit of their own agenda. Even the most advanced communication and conflict resolution skills do not work with them. Entirely different strategies are called for. Using healthy skills actually makes us more vulnerable to these individuals, because they exploit our personal code of honor of treating people well and fairly. The sole goal with these people is to contain their behavior in such a way that it stops harming us.
True resolution of problems with ill-intentioned people is not possible, because solving issues is not their point. The conflict itself is the point. These folks continually try to bait others into interactions they can use to their advantage. If you engage, you lose. These people do some of the worst damage to people’s minds, hearts, and souls. They destroy trust in life and other people because they instigate tremendous amounts of conflict, then blame the other person for it. They toy with people for the sport of it and leave a lot of destruction in their wake.
For example, if your co-worker or leader has a good track record of treating people well, doing their own job to the best of their ability, and taking accountability for the occasional mistakes they do make, then there’s a high likelihood they will genuinely try to resolve problems when they are brought to their attention. Conversely, your co-worker or leader may have a history of being a jerk to people, doing their own job marginally, not taking responsibility and blaming others for pretty much everything. With that kind of track record, that’s not a person who is going to be interested in hearing about, let alone resolving, conflict. You have to look at what is most consistent about them over time.
If you have a generally good and trustworthy co-worker or leader, give them the benefit of the doubt and do your best to work with them to resolve anything that comes up. They’ll appreciate your honesty even healthymanviagra.com if it’s hard for them to hear, because they have a demonstrated interest in having a healthy, productive workplace. If you have a co-worker or leader who typically acts disrespectfully and doesn’t seem to care, then it’s a mistake to think they will take whatever specific issue you are bringing up seriously. It is not your responsibility to trust those who have proven they can’t be trusted.
Next up, the five categories of troubled co-workers and leaders. Until then, stay strong and take good care of yourself. You’re worth it!
