When we have done our best and problems still aren’t resolved, we are then faced with the choice between sacrificing ourselves on the altar of another person’s dysfunction, or standing our ground and refusing to participate in unhealthy interactions any longer. We can choose to hand the responsibility for that person’s life back to them, rather than continuing to be burdened with carrying it ourselves. Just like we can’t perform anyone else’s physical exercise for them, we can’t conduct anyone else’s emotional life for them either. When you carry the load meant for someone else to handle, it robs both of you of the opportunity to grow and thrive. Laying down someone else’s load can be one of the healthiest breakthroughs we ever make in our lives. We aren’t here to sacrifice ourselves for others. We are here to create something new and good. God called a halt to sacrificial offerings a long time ago. We’d be very wise to stop climbing back up on the altar.
For your most important relationships, if people are generally supportive of you, talk with them about your destiny and how much their support at this time would mean to you. Most of those folks will be excited about your new direction and delighted to help any way they can. These people become the rocks upon which you find refuge and strength. Take steps to grow the healthy inner circle by putting yourself in a position to meet people who will play a pivotal role in your life. Take a class related to your destiny. Join groups or clubs who offer gatherings of kindred spirits. Get involved in a spiritual community. Take up a new sport. There are a million ways to get proactively engaged in life, and when you do it strategically it can pay big dividends. Once you take the first step, you’ll be amazed at how God suddenly starts connecting you with people who are already living healthy lives, who make good role models or mentors, who will be wildly enthusiastic about your destiny, and who will become some of your biggest fans and advocates. And you’ll become a friend to them as well, sharing in their life and enjoying a mutually supportive and life-affirming relationship. If you’re hesitant to open up because you’ve gone through a lot of hardship in your life with other people, if trust has been violated and you’ve had a wary eye ever since, this is a powerful area of healing for you. The Bible says God repays us much more than anyone stole from us. It is possible that the new and healthy relationships God will grace you with, will make you forget the pain of the past, and provide you with an area of abundance where there used to be lack.
Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to get down off the altar and be on your way.