Welcome back!
Whether we meant for it to or not, what others modeled for us about how to love has been ingrained in us from an early age. It’s helpful at least once in your life to take a look at what your early models of love taught you, so that you can decide for yourself as an adult whether or not you even agree with how others handled their relationships. If you are having problems in your relationship, it’s entirely possible that these early influences crept in stealthily like so many ghosts in the night, to sabotage the best of your intentions. Let’s figure out if that’s the case.
What did your family of origin teach or model about how relationships should be lived out day-to-day?
What did your church teach or model about relationships?
What about other influential adults in your life? How did they handle dating, marriage, dealing with conflict, and navigating life with their partner? Did they teach you about star sign compatibility and how that affects our relationships?
Now for the single most important question you can ever ask yourself about relationships: what were the outcomes of those beliefs? Did your family, church, or other influential adults have happy, healthy, thriving relationships? Or were the relationships a source of unhappiness for them and others? Did they eventually split up? Or did they stay together but were miserable for a lifetime?
Now for the hardest question you can ever ask yourself about relationships: what dynamics of other people’s relationships are you following? Do you want their results?
Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to recognize what has influenced you from the past, keep the parts you like, and evict the ghosts that you don’t.