Welcome back!
If you’re still not convinced your problems are fixable, consider this. If God could raise Jesus from the dead, He can solve our problems too. The resurrection wasn’t a one-time deal and there’s no earthly problem you could possibly have that He can’t overcome. There are too many stories of miracles to believe otherwise. If you believe in the resurrection, and dare to hope once again that God may be able to help you after all, but you’re still feeling defeated or ashamed or a thousand other versions of unworthy, life up your head and take a good look at Calvary Hill. The cross is empty. Jesus died there in place of us. For us, so that our sins are forgiven, our slate is clean, and we can truly begin again. The cross story has already been taken, so you’ll have to find a different one. Find a way to make peace with whatever is troubling you. If it’s something you can make amends for without causing further harm, then mindfully, prayerfully go do it. If it’s something you can never make amends for, then you can still resolve to spend the rest of your life making better choices and having a positive impact on the communities you are a part of. We are not condemned to repeat the mistakes of the past, whether they are generational or of our own making. We have choices. Stop hanging yourself up on the cross Jesus already vacated. It’s counterproductive. Jesus hung there so you didn’t have to, and what He asks of you in return is that you live the life He paid the ultimate price for. You can’t do that if you keep trying to take His place rather than your own.
Until next time, I’ll be praying for you to believe in yourself, and in the God who is waiting to deliver you.